I feel so defeated today. I had the realization early this morning that no matter how hard someone works or tries, its never going to amount to anything. You have to be connected or have gone to a certain school or been in the right place at the right time and if not? Too bad. Enjoy renting an apartment and being childless the rest of your life... I'm kind of coming to terms that I will never have any children or a home of my own. I've got to accept that as long as I live, I will never be able to knock down a wall or hang pictures or repaint a foyer. Yes, they are simple things to ask for; however, it doesn't make it any less painful to think that I will never have them.
My husband and I were discussing earlier that in order to succeed, there is a game that must be successfully played. If you don't know how to play the game, you won't be considered for any position at any company in any state. As it turns out, I can't play the game. I refuse to stab someone in the back or spread malicious lies about people or gossip when the boss is away and then rat everyone out to the boss when they come back. I won't do it. I feel that those actions are suited for "Jersey Shore" but not for real life in the work place. Call me old fashioned, but I believe that workplace success should be based on merit and a strong work ethic. But what do I know? I'm just a stay-at-home wife...
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